Rizwan 500 Industrial Index (3/3/2007)

I understand that most of the investors are concerned with the market conditions currently. So as CEO, I'm happy to declare that its booming rapidly.

Updates on FSRC's market:

The day started all well after i finally came exactly at 8.30am and was feeling happy with myself. As i was taking over Janice's duties (President of FSRC), i decided to do it quickly before focusing on slacking for the rest of the day. The sky started to darken and gales of wind blew hard into FSRC.

HZH came late and dutifully, i marked him late and had to submit his details to the system. Was asking Janice for all the procedures and i informed her that HZH was late. That's when he shouted and demanded to noe why i was speaking about him. I shouted back with uncouth words amid strong applause from all the investors and the index shot up drastically and was at 780,000 points as of lunch time.

The index drop slightly when it was reopened after lunch but at 3 pm, several incidence caused the rapid shift of the index. Yong Xian, Public Relation Director of the Index, decided to declare the rest of day as Games Day and almost all the investors joined to play games like Mafia, Passing Parcel and Murderer. Mafia was silly to play (as populated by Sebastian) and we focused on Passing Parcel after that. That's when the market became violent.

Had many forfeits done (most were gross like when me and CYX had to do pole dancing with each other) but the worse was when i had to take HZH's cap and posed with it. Was saying things like " Where's your manners? Your mother never teach ah?" and "F*** U and Mother F***** towards me. He even dared to scold me CHILDISH. This time round, the fighter spirit in me came out. I fought him word for word until he gave up. At that point, i instigated him by asking innocently whether he had lost. As a pervetic coward, he refused to answer.

The index as of now is at 2,500,000 points and is expected to rise for the incoming weeks. Investors should quickly buy the stocks now or risk losing the opportunity to make more money.

Rizwan 500 Industrial Index

For those who are not used to finance, its just a complete rubbish so dun bother to read more on them.

The recent incorporation of the Rizwan 500 Industrial Index in the Financial Resource Service Centre (FSRC) was sponsored by the Islamic Bank of Rizwan. The purpose of this index is to measure the VIOLENTILITY of us towards HOE ZONG HUAN and as CEO, i'm happy to say that the index is booming rapidly.

Most of you will be waiting to hear the commentary of what happened during the presentation today and i'm happy to give you my version (true and original) of the event.

As my group ( Me, Jia En, Nazreen,Yi Xuan and Grace) was the first to present today, all of us were jittery and nervous about the ordeal. Started off well with my usual carry ball method of greetings: A very good morning to our charismatic and visionary lecturer, Ms Gladys Koh and so on...

Presentation was good as we kept to our limit (although i was presenting off-the-cuff) and everybody was happy. Then the Dark Lord came and crash our joyous moment with 4 distinct question and 2 aiming at me.

1) What are the criterias invovle for consumers to take either premier or private banking?
2) What is the threat for the East Asian Region?
3)What steps should OCBC take to protect fraudulent trades?
4) What is the cost of implementing our Bluetooth system?

I GIA TIO LEH! For the first question, he definitely missed out listening to Nazreen's presentation (mayb having wet dreams of nazreen...oops sowie naz) ,the 2nd and 3rd questions are definitely aimed at me for the purpose of just wanting to shoot me down and the last is to make us look bad.

When Ah Boon's group was presenting, he also shot them down. Was saying things like your plan is not commercially viable and therefore just a dream. I shot him down and asked "Y are you shooting others when they have done nothing to you?"

I mean look at it. Why are you creating trouble for yourself? Is it COMMERCIALLY-VIABLE for you to do so? Let's faced it, for once, can't you adopt humility as your virtue? The guy who dun like to wear pants is more smarter than you and he is more humble than you. Do you mean that shooting others down impress the girls? If your mentality is of impressing the girls, you are disgusting me.

Then came another one. Well known in NYP for the wrong reasons. This is really a unique specimen of his kind that thinks that memorising his script impresses the girls. His presentation totally sux with him trying to be LOUD and at the same time attracts the girls' attention. And wanted to be off-the-cuff like me. Was saying things like HSBC has branches in Hong Kong.......(long pauses)...India.....Paris.....and UAE.

I do find ways to make myself feel good but i dun stoop so low to your level. If you really want to be popular, here's a tip: Stop being dumb and drop all your "impressive acts". Stick to the point and do your work properly.Well, as usual, i shot him down with nonsensical questions to kill him off so that he can never come back to live and disturb me again.

Then came to Lia's group which i must say did an impressive presentation. HZH couldn't take things lying down and attacked her group by stressing things that HSBC is the first in Islamic Banking. Another just becoz it sux. Got shot down by Lia herself and i added fuel to the fire by critising his very existence in FSRC (i'm exaggerating as usual).

But a scene broke out after the presentation finish with Lia attacking HZH with vicious words and he attacked her back by saying "Shut up". Lia was almost at the point of punching his godamn face for good but i stopped her by asking HZH to "Shut up". Mad with fury, i could have just give him a good kick in the face for undesirables like him do not belong to the society. They belong in a special area called Buangkok Green.

For those who are concerned, the Index shot up to 700,000 points during that violent moment and i speculate that it will rise rapidly with my planning to incur more of my wrath on him to annihilate his very existence in this very face of Earth.

Fun video in FSRC

Special edition: FSRC Fun video

Warning: Those below 18 is prohibited from watching. Any posting to You Tube will infringe copyrights and will be liable for defamation, infrigement of copyrights and a lifetime supply of rotten char sao pao will be provided.

Disclaimer: Theis is an entirely fictitious and entertaining purpose video. Any similarities or offensive to any party is not intentionally done and the director apologises beforehand.

Now, enjoy!

Please rate the video after watching. If not, the curse of Zong Huan will befall upon you and you will be pervetic for 10 years.

Camwhoring at FSRC (with a slight twist)

Well,

Since today is a super duper boring day at FSRC, we decided to camwhore but with a slight twist.
You can get all these actions at Jia En's blog where it has 4 dedicated videos by me. The 3 songs is sponsored by Stephen Chow from the God of Gambler 3 (back to Shanghai) from the Char Sao Pao song regarding paus.

The next is from Jay Chou's western song.

Well dudes and babes, just a slight reminder, if you are below 18, you are not allowed to watch. And the first person to post it on you tube will earn a pau from me.

Camwhoring at FSRC

Hais...

Nothing to do, we cam whore...

Here are the pics...