Hypocrite

Defination:Hypocrisy is the act of pretending to oppose a belief or behaviour while holding the same beliefs or behaviours at the same time.

Am i a hypocrite?

I've been asking that question for a few days now. Been thinking hard about my attitude and how i approach people. I admit it. I am loyal to all my friends coz i treasure their friendships but there are people who i have nvr considered as friends. I've been acting like a 2-faced guy to them: Being the innocent looking guy in front of them but at the back, i'm bad-mouthing them.

Dear god, what is becoming of me? Why i finally feel weird after doing all this? I should have been like Poon. Despite not liking the person, he didn't show it. Just like because he sux. Yes, he was infamous for his arrogant and bragging attitude. Every body agrees with that but did i have to rub salt to his wound?

I told him the event only lasted an hour after he declared that he can go for the event. And i was proud to tell every body that i stopped him from coming. It does feel good but inside, you won't know how guilty i feel. Am i a hypocrite?

Next, there is a lady who i admired alot in the previous stopover. Yes, she's cute and have a pair of mesmerizing eyes. And i like the way she became interested in all my stories. I felt that i was in heaven every time she does that. But when the truth was revealed, i became a different person altogether. When she started to avoid me, i became moody. Whenever someone says something about her, i will give a bad impression of her.

But i feel bad after doing that every time. And when she attempted to make friends, i avoided it. Yes, i wish we were back to being innocent but i just can't change. What is becoming of me? I admired her alot but does it give me the right to be a hypocrite after rejection?

To those who were affected by my hypocrisy, i apologise. I know there can be no way to reverse the mistakes i had done but i hope that with this simple apology of mine, things will change.